grace given me

Whether you watched the Super Bowl or not, by now you have likely learned that the game was a blowout. The Eagles decidedly defeated the Chiefs. Lots of variables factored into the Chiefs’ loss, but according to assorted media personnel and internet voices, one such cause was the underperformance of quarterback, Patrick Mahomes. Once the post-game conferences and recaps began, many jumped at the opportunity to “roast” him – to call out his faults and mistakes. I started thinking about how we all get “roasted” at times and how we handle our roasts, and their impact on our identity, determines whether we feast, or are in famine – live in abundance or scarcity.

Patrick Mahomes has been quoted saying, “Football is what I do. It’s not who I am.” That is a strong sense of identity. In the Living Fearless book about identity by Jamie Winship, the author claims there is “false” identity, “real” identity, and “true” identity. He states we are called to move from false, to real, to truth. If God is truth, he can only speak to us in our true identity. God has a plan, a harvest or feast, for each of us; “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11) If you are stuck in your false identity then you cannot hear God’s plan for you and your future. You cannot reap the harvest.

Because life is a wild ride, many of us have unintentionally taken on false identities – for safety, for purpose, for worth, for love. Along the journey we have inadvertently come into agreement with lies or “roasts” said about or to us. When we grow tired of living in famine and self-imposed restrictions, we can enlist God’s help to reveal and stop the lie-based conversations in our minds.

How do we become aware of the lies with which we have come into agreement? Ask yourself, have I ever thought:
– I am not good enough
– I am not what “they” wanted
– I am (fill in your negative word here: needy, defensive, sensitive, weird, bad, etc.)
– Something is wrong with me

In prayer, I have been asking God to reveal what I have taken on as truths about myself. Recently, God brought to me that certain influential people in my life told me I am critical; I heard the whispering accusation, “you are critical.” As I sat with God, he gently asked: Who told you this? Why did you believe them? My mind rushed to Genesis 3, when after eating the fruit and feeling ashamed, Adam and Eve hid from God. God called to them, “Where are you?” (verse 3:9) and “Who told you…” (verse 3:11)

I realized that I too, in my shame, was hiding from God. I was in the false. God called me to “real.” What was real? Yes, there have been times in my life when I have been critical of things or people. But God flooded my mind with a dozen people that would not label me as critical. He detached it from my identity and covered it and me in truth.

Here is where it gets fun. And by fun I mean the real stupid stuff that happens in marriage. Last week my husband put some temporary art on the wall. After a couple of days, I said I was ready for new art (usually he puts up great family photos or aspirational destinations; this was an image and a quote that just wasn’t my preference). He took offense and angrily said, “You are so critical.” The old me would have been triggered. Instead God whispered to me, remember who you are. My husband’s comment lost its sting and I responded from a different place. We avoided the famine, aka escalated reactions or silent retreats. Instead, we were able to laugh about it, together – “turning a roast into a feast.”

Lord, in the beginning the word was with you and the word was you. You give life and light to everything. You are truth and you give us truth. The world and the enemy tries to roast us at times. It is one of the oldest tricks in the book, going back to Genesis, to get us to believe lies. Lies about you, your word, and ourselves. Help us to surrender what we are trying to hide. Call us into our true identities so we can live in abundance. I pray for a bounty, a feast of goodness and peace. Amen.