grace given me

As a relatively new empty nester, I find myself in a place of waiting. Waiting and longing. Longing for my kids to be back home. Waiting for their next visit. Waiting to see what I am supposed to be doing with this “extra time” that used to be so meaningfully spent caring for them. Longing to know what my purpose is now. I sense a similar sentiment amongst friends going through the same transition. 

Meanwhile, I have dear people in my life waiting to hear a medical diagnosis and subsequent treatment plan. Longing for answers and guidance. And another who is waiting to get healthy enough for the next stage of treatment. Longing for healing and hope.

My son was recently waiting to hear about a job. Longing for a summer internship. My daughter was waiting for a score on an exam she had taken, longing for a good grade.

A family member is waiting to see where she will live, longing to feel settled. I have friends who are waiting to meet a special someone, longing for a spouse to share life with. And others who are waiting to conceive, longing to start a family. 

All around me, friends and family, we are waiting. I never realized how much time we would all spend in life’s proverbial “waiting room.” It is rather unavoidable – big or small, in this life, we will wait. We have no choice in whether or not we will have to wait on certain things. The only thing we have a say in, is how we wait. Have you ever considered the quality of your waiting? Whether it is productive? Fruitful? Peace-bringing? Life-giving? Or is it wrought with anxiety, despair, confusion, and hopelessness? 

Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.” Could bringing God into our waiting make a difference? Isaiah 30:18 reassures us saying, “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” Verse after verse promises good things to those who “wait patiently for him.”

We live in an overlap of ages. We live in the here and now, on earth, with sickness, disease, conflict, poverty, inequality, divorce, job loss, separation, loneliness, and even death. That is real. Yet we also live knowing that Christ has come. When we accept him we receive his forgiveness, his healing, his restoration, his power. That is also real. I have witnessed destruction and I have witnessed miracles. That is the riddle of living in the overlap. Christ has come but this is not heaven. We will have to wait. 

In the waiting, is where Satan tempts. His goal is to distort the image of God – Why would God let this happen? Why is God doing this to me? Why won’t God answer my prayer? Why doesn’t God care about me and do this one thing? The evil one works non-stop to deceive us by twisting the truth about God, to get us to doubt and stop believing. He wants to rob us of our ability to tap into the supernatural overlap. He wants to distract us and enslave us to limited thinking and limited hope.

We cannot make full sense of it here, but learning to ‘wait on the Lord’ is our greatest weapon. Praising and confessing are two superpowers. Praise melts fear. Truth repels lies. I am prone to wonder and wander but that time is better spent. I don’t know why I resist because as soon as I put on worship music my thoughts change. Or rather get exchanged for his promises. As soon as I pray, my temporal words get trumped by eternal wisdom. I don’t know why I ever wait to run to him. 

Lord, when it comes to waiting, I confess that I get caught up in the swirl of thoughts and entertain doubt. Remove from me my double-mindedness. Help me take back from Satan the firm foundation you offer me. You long to turn my waiting time into building time; building my faith while you build up the plan. Help me to take captive every thought and every fear and bring it to you. To the confused, you offer clarity and purpose. To the depressed, you offer a reason for joy. To the lonely, you offer eternal companionship. Please give us peace knowing ‘the Lord will fulfill his purpose for you, his steadfast love endures forever.’ Amen.