grace given me

Last year I started taking lessons to try and become fluent in Spanish. I began with a lot of enthusiasm but quickly realized how challenging it can be to learn a new language. Learning a language involves a great deal of time and consistent effort, dedicated practice and immersion, along with a willingness to try and fail at times. It requires an open mind to learn new vocabulary, sentence structure, and the mouthfeel of pronouncing new words while attempting to adopt the language. While I have come to accept that I’m not willing to put in the work for Spanish fluency during this life season, there is a new language that I am putting all my effort into learning. That is the language of “honor.” I have been learning that honor is the language of God and that honor unlocks miracles.

In Mark 6:4-5 it says, “Jesus said to them, ‘A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.’ He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them.” It was pointed out to me that because Jesus was not being honored he “could not” – notice how it does not say “would not” – do any miracles there. In Luke 8 there is this story of a man possessed by demons and Jesus sends the demons into a herd of pigs who plunge off a cliff and drown in a lake. Though the people saw the man healed, they were upset over the pigs and begged Jesus to go away. The next verse says “On the other side of the lake the crowds welcomed Jesus, because they had been waiting for him.” (Luke 8:40) The crowd was waiting, welcoming and, we can infer, honoring Jesus. The subsequent verses speak of a woman healed from a twelve-year ailment and a child being raised from the dead. I don’t know about you, but I want all the miracles I can get. And honor shifts something.

In the Old Testament when King David celebrated, with leaping and dancing, the ark of the Lord entering the city of David, his wife Michal despised his behavior and dishonored him in her heart. 2 Samuel 6:23 goes on to say, “And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.” Honor brings about blessings and fruitfulness. Dishonor brings barrenness.

I learned this lesson the hard way. Last year, my boss and I had a disagreement that subsequently affected my bonus in a negative way. I was mad, sad and afraid. Mad at my boss, I accused him of all kinds of unpleasant things in my mind. I became sad, taking on a victim mentality and stewing about the unjustness of it. And I was afraid. We have two kids in college, an aging home in need of repair, and life is not cheap these days. After my pity party, I poured out my heart to God. I could instantly feel his presence. He swooped in with comfort and assurance. He steadied my feet and reminded me who I was. But he also convicted me. After he got my heart to a place where I could hear it, he used the opportunity to gently call my attention to a blind spot. He showed me how I wrestled with honoring others. He illuminated the performance-based love and respect model I was operating in and holding others accountable to.

Trained up by the world to believe you have to earn worth, this dreadful scenario breeds a condition whereby you subsequently hold others to unrealistic standards and performance-based esteem. God showed me a shameful mask of inferiority I was wearing where I needed to ‘bring others down’ in order to elevate my status and hide my own shortcomings. I had a hidden-to-me habit of dishonor as a coping mechanism. His pointing this out to me broke me in the most beautiful way. I confessed and repented. I started practicing honor with my boss and am enjoying new peace and joy. I honor the human, made in God’s image, and I honor the “position” which allows me to practice honor regardless of whether or not the person’s behavior is ‘deserving’ of honor. 

When God illustrates something as big as that to you, and you realize the blessings and likewise the consequences of speaking or not speaking honor, you seek out where else you might have an opportunity to improve your honor fluency. I discovered that “dishonor” means: to not show respect or value, to treat as common or ordinary, and a stronger form of dishonor refers to shaming or even humiliating others. Furthermore, I learned that true honor doesn’t start until disagreement arrives. This got me – I saw all kinds of places where I could improve my honor game. People I was taking for granted, treating as common, or not fully valuing them. Considering your own relationships, can you think of a person – a spouse, a family member, a coworker – where you might be lacking honor, by not actively pursuing honor, and blocking miracles? God loves honor and offers it as a key to the kingdom. We just have to be willing to use the key.

Lord, I am so grateful that you created us in honor. We are made in your image and are valuable to you, deserving of respect and worth. Thank you for showing me where I was dropping the ball and repelling your presence and miracles. You long to show up. You long to do good works. I pray the Holy Spirit will convict me of when I am not operating in honor. Please help me to honor, even when dealing with sandpaper people and challenging situations. I want to bring the fragrance of honor everywhere I go. I know that when I do, you will shift the atmosphere, you will transform hearts and minds. Thank you for teaching me the most important language in the world. Amen.

*I would like to honor Pastor Marco Contreras and credit his talk, “Honor Flow,” for the inspiration for this post.