grace given me

I am basking in the afterglow of beautiful community enjoyed this past weekend. It is important to celebrate the good things in life, and I am celebrating new communities that I now feel part of. Neither of these havens of community happened overnight, but neither did they take an exorbitant amount of time. Each was built with bricks of ‘showing up.’ Reflecting on the joy, goodness, and soul-filling experiences has left me pondering. When did I become ‘part of the group?’ How did I move from ‘stranger to friend?’ While I don’t know exactly when, I have a sense of how – by committing time consistently, I slowly became familiar, slowly I became known. Sometimes we overthink relationship. Yet simply defined, friendship is a voluntary relationship characterized by care and mutual respect that grows closer over time.

Voluntary, care, mutual respect, grows closer – those are words that jump out to me. They sound like cornerstones of good community. God loves when his children live in community. 1 Corinthians 12:27 says, “Now you are the body of Christ, each one of you is a part of it.” And Romans 12:16 tells us to “Live in harmony with one another.” God in his goodness wants us to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds… encouraging one another.” (Hebrews 10:24) This side of heaven can throw some punches and “though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” There is safety, protection, growth and love in community.

Many of us got tripped up early on as awkward teenagers and that set into motion a trepidation related to meeting new people and breaking into new groups. Yet simply ‘time and familiarity’ can break down most any wall. Think about your closest relationships – they all started out with you as strangers – but time and familiarity laid a solid foundation. The workplace offers a great example. You start out unknown by colleagues, but are forced to consistently spend time together. Before you know it, you are meeting up at the ‘water cooler’ and making lunch plans together. 

My friend was telling me about an author she heard speak on popularity. The speaker had not been popular growing up and wanted to study it to see what she could learn. She assumed popular people possessed something special when in actuality much of the time it was simply familiarity. She tried out her new philosophy by walking her dog on the same route every day. Before long she found herself greeting the same people. She began feeling popular along her walk. It was up to her how deep she wished for these relationships to go. But the opportunity to know and be known was now organically present. 

The same wondrous phenomenon has happened between God and me. During a period of searching, I determined to know God. I began by becoming familiar with him, dabbling in his word and in quiet time with him. The more time I spent with him, the more I grew to know him and him, me. Though ‘he knit me together in my mother’s womb’ and has ‘numbered every hair on my head,’ he wanted to know me in relationship with him. I thought I knew my identity until I started spending more time with him. Ephesians 1:4 says, “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.” How am I to do that without knowing what he means by that? And how can I do it without his help? Jeremiah 29:11 says, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’” How can I know his plans for me without hearing from him? How can I heed his guidance for prosperity and protection if I am not in touch with him?

The enemy intimidates us out of community with others and communion with God. But it is a lot of smoke and mirrors. He makes it appear bigger and more terrifying than it is. One needs to just set the goal of consistently spending time in places and with people. Start with simply becoming familiar. Let time do the heavy lifting. Bring an open-heart posture and then one day you will think, wow, what lovely friends I have made. And I hope that Jesus is on the top of that list.

Lord, your community of the trinity is a beautiful model for us. Thank you that you did not create us to do life alone. I praise you for the opportunities each one of us has to know and be known by others. We may try to deny it, but we all crave it and our souls are filled when we experience it. My highest praise goes to you for wanting to be friends with us mere mortals. You, the creator of the universe, long to become familiar to us. Your greatest desire is to know us and be known by us. The awe of that Lord is nothing short of spectacular. Thank you that you want to be our closest friend. Amen.