grace given me

This weekend, our beloved chiweenie, Whiskey, went missing. When he was younger, he would squeeze through our fence and head to our neighbors—who spoil him like their own furbaby. He has also been known to weasel his way into our backhouse, to be snuggled by our renter. Our promiscuous pup seeks out love wherever he can find it. But this time, he wasn’t at the neighbors and he wasn’t in the backhouse. It was quite unlike him to go missing for so long. As it grew dark, it became worrisome. A friend kindly texted, “I’ll say a prayer and hope he’s found soon!” It dawned on me that I hadn’t even thought to pray. So I did. I prayed for our dog and shortly thereafter, through Nextdoor and a helpful community, we were reunited. Turns out, he’d found some guys smoking ribs in the alley and spent the afternoon watching Band of Brothers with them. 

Knowing the outcome, we can laugh now. But in the midst, when we started to fear that our dog might really be gone, we grew anxious, sad and afraid. In fact, as time went on, I focused more and more on those feelings. That I hadn’t thought to pray is not lost on me. Every morning I begin with a little quiet time, reading the word and praying. I try to “stay in the flow” with God by listening to praise music and talking to him throughout the day. But life comes at us fast, and I am still learning how to walk with God, in the big and the small, in the moment by moment. Why didn’t I pray about my dog? Did it not feel “big enough”? Or did I simply not think to involve God?

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Let’s break that down: 

–   “Trust in the Lord with all your heart…” Every day in every way. How quickly we can get out of the flow. One runaway emotion and our heart becomes divided. Maybe not consciously or deliberately, but if we have a divided heart, we are entertaining a lack of trust. 

–   “Lean not on your own understanding…” Full confession: my brain went into problem-solving mode. I was observing, analyzing, calculating outcomes—all within my limited understanding. Thereby limiting my options to what I could think of and what I could do. 

–   “In all your ways submit to him…” I’ve heard of people praying for parking spots or short lines, and I wrestle with that. I don’t want to treat God like a fairy godmother, there to grant my “wishes.” Yet he knows my every thought, my every desire. It’s more about posture. I should come clean and let my petitions be known—bold enough to ask, yet yielding to his authority.

–   “And he will make your paths straight.” I think part of the reason I do not always ask, is though I fully believe in the power of prayer, my flesh sometimes betrays me and lets doubt creep in. Making paths straight does not guarantee nor even slightly imply that every prayer will be answered. It promises guidance, not outcomes.

So I ask myself: Do I trust God always, even if he doesn’t deliver on what I am praying for? Do I believe God is good always, even if he doesn’t do what seems like the ‘good’ thing at the time? Is God good because my dog was found? What if he hadn’t been? And what about when it’s not a dog, but a diagnosis, a broken relationship, or a heartbreaking loss? 1 Corinthians 13:12 says, “All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” He knows me completely. And wants to walk with me daily—in every decision, every emotion, every moment. He does not grow weary. Nor dismiss a single one or our prayers. He simply asks us to come closer, so our hearts align with his and our trust deepens. Every day. In every way.

Lord, thank you that I can talk to you all day every day. You are unlike anyone we know. We expect you to be like someone here on earth; who would grow tired if we asked for help, guidance, and favor for every single thing we encountered throughout our days. Yet there is no one like you. We only understand in part. Give us the faith and trust to bridge the gap until we see you face to face. Help us to grow in obedience, expectation and adoration, so that we may reflect your image and your goodness more and more. Amen.